After writing about pop culture and life for the previous two weeks I felt it was appropriate to reflect on what I have learned.
Life is hard, stressful and always happening. Culture is important, powerful and always changing.
Many of things that I have written about are very much considered to be mindless pop culture that we view as news and also how we culturally interact with each other. I think this is a good time to re-evaluate how we live.
I have decided that I have two options, I can remove myself from this crazy world and take myself to the ocean or the mountains in a secluded area where I can appreciate the simpler things and become one with nature. Or I can stay here with the culture and amongst the masses.
The decision: I am going to do both. Eventually, I will end up somewhere here, with a husband (probably a lumberjack)and have lumberjack babes. Yes, this will be later on in my life because I want to be in the advertising world so badly. But, after I have had a career I am proud of, I know I will really be able to appreciate and enjoy this uncomplicated life.
BUT, first I have a feeling I will be living more of a life like this:
I think my theme song will be the song from the Devil Wears Prada. It's very uplifting and inspiring.
If anyone wants to join me when I go to the water or the mountains, let me know!
Signing off on blogging for a while, it has been quite an experience! This project has been my blood, sweat and tears for the last two weeks. I hope you have all enjoyed my posts!
Do you know what time it is? This is one of Flavor Flav’s signature lines along with other classics like, Yeaaaaaaa Boyeee and WOW (dragged out and exaggerated.) Flav with his ridiculous clocks, capes, crowns, sunglasses and dreads appears to think he is some sort of style icon. When really he looks like a cockroach in human form. Tell me you think that man is attractive? Come on. . .
Flav is famous for wearing ridiculously big clocks around his neck and being a rap pioneer in the late 80s and early 90s in Public Enemy. How does he get the masses to tune in to VH1? His show was the highest rating VH1 has ever had. He gets trashy girls to scream FLAVOR FLAV. This man should be kissing VH1’s ass and them vice versa. In the midst of all the reality television craze he has participated in three hit shows for VH1. He was on Surreal Life where he got hot with Brigitte Nielson and then that spawned the disgustingly, weird Strange Love. Then when Brigitte smartened up deciding this will never work and she was over her 15 minutes of fame again in the spotlight she left poor Flav alone and rejected. Thus, the birth of Flavor of Love. Now, with two seasons under his belt and still no love, he is about to dive into his third season.
I have to admit I watch the show because the girls are out-of-control ridiculous. They make the show. The premise is nuts. Girls line up to prove they love Flav and would be the best match for him. They are hilarious from how they talk, how they dress, how they are immediately in love and infatuated with Flav. Does he drug these women or does he wear a special pheromone that attracts skanks to him? They are literally moths to a flame when he enters the room. Is this really how one finds love? I have watched the show to tune into the bizarre antics. I love the fake orgasms and all the sex that goes on behind not so closed doors. The girls basically line up in lingerie begging for the chance. Personally, I would rather go through Chinese water torture than sleep with Flav. But these girls are all about it. These girls are all different types of trash ranging from white trash to ghetto fabulous to video ho.
Season 1 Girls: Season 2 Girls:
I was trying to think of why any sane woman would go on the show. And then I remembered most women are not sane and there are a whole slew of women who are by no means considered classy or civilized really. There really is a plethora of reasons to show up and audition.
Trashy, skank bitches go on the show to:
1. to perform oral on national television 2. to get into fights 3. to be reduced to a sex object for Flav to have his way with 4. to show off trashy princess tattoo on your chest 5. to dress like complete hoe-skis 6. to get a humiliating nickname based off your physical looks/personality 7. to promote their new album 8. to be a gold-digger 9. to spit on New York 10. to get wasted 11. to get your own show 12. to reveal your sob story and how oppressed you are 13. to poop on the floor 14. to be reality show hos and then go on Charm School with Mo’nique 15. to stay off welfare 16. to pose in men’s magazines 17. to booty dance 18. to get a free meal 19. to make friends 20. to get their 15 minutes of fame
This clip is possibly the major reason this show was such a hit. All stemming from a very interesting altercation between Pumkin and New York.
These shows have given way to so many other spin off shows. First, there was I Love New York. The main bitch in the house, who thinks she is god’s gift, has an insane mother and is absolutely ignorant. I love how she misuses words. Clearly, she was there for entertainment value and Flav is still sane enough to realize there was no way in hell he could end up with this bitch. New York got her own show, to find love for herself. This is an equally ridiculous show where New York and her scary drag queen mom try to find the right man for her. Then, there was Charm School where everyone took notice at the trashy behavior of all these adult women and went through etiquette school. Now, VH1 has Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. I guess VH1 will continue to ride this wave out as long as it keeps making the big dollars. There mentality has to be ‘if it aint broke, don’t fix it.’
I fear that this man may never find love on the pure fact that he is one of the most unattractive men who is a complete womanizer. How can you fall in love on television? It is too fake and every season a girl ends up ‘winning’ and never stays with him! Don’t you find that a little odd? Perhaps he should try a new avenue for scoring women. Maybe, he can’t without the camera. Oh well, I guiltly will watch the show and enjoy the craziness of the women, Flav and New York.
I love it. Absolutely, I will tune in and will continue to tune in until Flav and New York find love. If that ever happens . . .
I feel like there are more specific examples to dissect and discuss but please feel free to share your favorite Flav moments. Basically, I think Flav’s essence relies on watching the bowels of society interact. It’s like watching something happen at the zoo. You’re interested enough to watch but are glad your safely behind the glass or cage.
This show has, whether you like it or not, had serious impact in recent pop culture and will continue to as long as he is on the air.
I work at The Oracle and I have got to tell you the amount of stress, craziness and drama is enough to make our office setting be reality television worthy. We have actually considered this thought. I work with an eclectic group of people to say the least. There is the news department, graphics and sales. I work in sales. . . I am the sales manager and I live in the basement which we have renamed The WhOracle. Basically, because we whore ourselves out to advertisers so we can have some ads in our paper.
I sometimes feel that we are judged for our neurotic, crazy, screaming matches and panic stricken attitudes by other departments but that is because we are constantly running around, selling things, signing contracts, dealing with upset customers, yelling at people for fucking up, using extensive profanities, freaking out about quota pressures, all to make sure that we turn a profit for the business. Without the sales department there would be no paper. There would be no money to pay anyone without us. I sometimes feel sales is the outcast because of how we act. We are underappreciated and I accept that bitterly but understand one day there will be karmic retribution on the asses of the pretentious and unappreciative. But that is life.
My staff: The reason I love to come to work but also the reason I have to come to work! These are by far the coolest group of eccentric people I have ever come in contact with. Their personalities are all out of control and it is humorous each day when I think of some of the ridiculous statements that come out of the sales representative's mouths. This is a strong, confident bunch of people who never stop talking. Hence, they are my type of people. We are fans of bitching and venting about everything. (I know graphics judges us too, BUT, really they are another whole beast of crazy which is why I enjoy them equally) I think we stick out this job because we are gaining so much real world experience that few leave college with. Generally, we have as much fun as possible and get compensated (well sort of), for all the bullshit and stress we go through.
We are in no way your typical idea of an office. when the thought comes to mind think the opposite of what's happening, I wouldn't say we are the most professional due to the fact we are constantly talking about sex, pop culture, entertainment, playing pranks,and the amount of innuendos is almost overkill(almost) but we get our shit done and efficiently. This is why we ROCK! This clip from the office is similar to when one of my reps hid the profanity bell from another rep who was super-christian.
I am usually on the verge of a nervous breakdown, ask any of my reps, but I wouldn't have it any other way because than my life would be boring. Everyday, someone screws something up, or is having some issue that at the time seems impossible to fix, their is always someone owning someone (as the graphics department would like to say)but there is always excitement. Unfortunately, as manager, it is my responsibility to be the queen of owning people. I don't want to be what I fear is considered to be a bossy bitch but sometimes good people get lazy and then after countless times of asking someone to do something nicely and then I found out it hasn't been done I must become much more assertive than I like to be. (that's putting it gently, no one really wants to catch my wrath). But, my staff likes to avoid having an unpleasant encounter with me which is why they usually handle their accounts and take their job seriously. (this is why I know they will be FABULOUS someday out in the real world of business)
All they need is a little motivation and while, at one time or another, I have wanted to punch them all in the face and pretend I was deaf because my brain aches from the droning of complaints (I sympathize with moms). . . I LOVE THEM! They are my dysfunctional family. And as I write this, be clear, no one messes with my people, I vent because I love.
Ten Words to describe each person who works in the Office:
Ryan - raging egomaniac, curry-lover, real estate marketing consultant, dedicated, driven Kelsey - Post Secret fan, thinny, majorly sarcastic, faux cold-blooded, bitchy Nolan - professional bullshitter, leg-humper, sincere, team-player, talkative, party boy Mandy - super-chatty, cheerful, optimist, driven, gypsy, unnecessarily stresses, de(mandy), honest Becky - brilliant, loves body attack classes, amiable, confident, funny, go-getter Damara - sweetheart, fashionista, loves gossip, appeasing to clients, panics, loves m&m's Townsend - emo-tastic, hard-working, cheap, earnest, smiley, unselfish, nice, not-phased by drama Raj - talented, good listener, smart, helpful, amazing Photoshop skills, drama-free Seth - off-color humor, theatre kid at heart, manly, mysterious, creative, forgetful David - Goofy, sexy accent, spacey, loves business cards, genuine, loves movies
I am actually worried what will happen when I wake up and won't be heading toward this office that consumes my soul. What happens when I won't hear the bitching, enjoying a rest on the red couch, debating about a two-headed person's capabilities, the continuing love affair the graphics staff has for MACS and other APPLE products (except for Kelsey), escaping for a cigarette and actually seeing sunlight, listening to weird music (and hearing the same song play 20 times a day), eating mediocre sushi, dealing with customers, checking emails, crying to Joe about everything that is going wrong, whispering about the latest office gossip, having peeing races, freaking out about deadlines, worrying who Ryan might have offended today, hearing about body attack or the latest on Perez Hilton, deciphering what swinging is, owning people, and finally hearing after about every third sentence the phrase THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID. (This is our ode to Michael Scott).
Then I go to the Zen place and think, 'Oh no wait if I stay in Advertising and Sales I will encounter these types of people and situations every day for the rest of my life.' And then I think secretly to myself, "Looking forward to it" . . . .
Here is my lovely staff in Simpson form! We're such an attractive bunch!
Good morning everyone and by morning I mean I just finished my blog two hours ago, had one hour of sleep and now I look like a crack addict needing a fix. My eyes are blooshot and puffy, I'm shaky and I want nothing more than to sleep. Sadly, I am already sitting in my office, contemplating how I am going to fit in all the homework and menial tasks that I must do for my Stats test which is tomorrow. The stats class is really the bane of my existence and I cry sometimes thinking if I don't get an A in this math class I will no longer be allowed to attend college. I will not get the degree I have worked so hard to obtain because the university says my math skills aren't competent enough to give me an advertising degree. Sorry, I needed to vent that out.
Today's entry is simply about secrets, things you love, things you hate, your guilty pleasures. This entry was inspired by the Post Secret phenomenom and how successful this concept has become. The creator's daughter committed suicide and now he has started a type of anonymous therapy and his own suicide helpline. However, I like the funny ones, sometimes I go to his site and when I read about the issues people are having, I cry. I am thankful I don't have some of the internal struggles some people have. My heart really goes out to people. Check out the site: postsecret.com
Here are some samples:
I don't have time to list the many, many things I love, hate, and enjoy with guilt but here are some of the top items:
What do I love: the smell of the earth after a fresh rain, my friends, my hair, marilyn monroe, snow falling, my job, courtney love, rollercoasters, lightning storms, rottweilers, mullets, clouds that form into shapes of things, 500 lb. black women who have more confidence in their little toe than the majority of thinner girls and they rock sweet heels with pump fat, coffee, cigarettes, holding hands, plaid/flannel shirts,tattoos, alcohol, big trees with amazing shade, Borat, good hugs where people don't pat you on the back (a solid embrace), sunsets, manly men, spinning, mall chinese (perry's), my chest, scenic drives, drive in movies, swimming in lakes, big lap dogs, people watching, manicures, Forever 21, convertibles, family, smiles, soulful eyes, hippies, ice cream, McAlisters, Sex Talk with Sue Johannsen, very sexy perfume the girls and the mens version, classic rock and roll, tall men, Sex and the City, Dave Chappelle,
What do I hate: corn, overly PDA-couples that are too happy, Top Model Marathons on Vh1, annoying laughs, math, pretentious people, Boston Market, small dogs, haters, cake, fake people, acryilics, neediness, not being able to solve Seth's riddles that he pulls out of his ass, bad sex, cooking/baking, customer service over the phone, people who are into themselves to an extreme degree, heartless people, clumpy mascara,
What are my guilty pleasures: Cosmopolitan, spooning, rap music, eating peanut butter and fluff with a spoon (double-dipping of course), reality television (everything on Vh1, Bravo and MTV, I watch), smelling my feet, spooning, rainy days, chick flicks, staying in pajamas, hot cocoa
I want you to tell me your dirty little secrets. Your loves, your hates, guilty pleasures. You can leave the entries all anonymous or be brave and leave your name. Please try to shock me. I need a little something of interest to make me feel like this blog is having some impact and it is actually worth all the time that I have slaved over it.
Burger King is attempting to comply with some of the U.S. health standards to prevent obesity in children. They are going to come out with a new line of 'fries' that are called apple fries and their box will say Frypods. They are actually just apple slices. This is Burger King’s way of helping curb the epidemic in childhood obesity. I think Apple Fries and BK's new positioning might be a failure in the making. From Burger King’s website, the serving of Apple Fries is 2.4 ounces which will have 35 calories. A small serving of Burger King french fries has 230 calories and 13 grams of fat. Burger King has put into place nutritional guidelines to follow when targeting children under 12 in advertising, including limiting ads to Kids Meals that contain no more than 560 calories, less than 30 percent of calories from fat and no more than 10 percent of calories from added sugars.
We all know Burger King isn't healthy. We shouldn't consume it often, but as a treat, I don't see the harm. I think we should teach children that same line of thinking. I think it is going to be difficult to reposition a burger fast food chain as healthy for the kids. I just don't think kids of this generation are going to be jumping up and down for it.
I think the idea is a great marketing strategy on advertising/BK's part and will appeal to the parents. Parents will be early adapters because childhood obesity is a major concern of theirs. However, the food needs to be good. Mom and Dad can buy it all they want but if the kids don't want it, forget about it. They will stop thinking of BK meals as a treat and will want to go elsewhere.
This plan is set to be released as early as January 2008 and they have to remember that there are a whole group of children who have already had a BK meal and a Happy Meal. These kids are still impressionable, but don’t be fooled. The same company that is trying to change and be healthier is also the company that puts chemicals on the food you and your children are eating so the smell attracts you to their fries and burgers. They want you to salivate when you smell the fries. I doubt the kids will drool on command for apple slices that they know mom can prepare at home.
As a kid, I always had McDonalds as a treat once a month (we didn’t have Burger Kings close to where I lived in Maine) and I wouldn’t want after a few years (of conditioning me to expect chicken tenders and fries) to be thrown a bag of apple slices. That’s what my mom gives me at home, this isn’t a treat.
I like the concept of putting the lemon juice on the apples so the apples don’t brown as fast. At least they will look appealing. I just hope they start pushing their new meals to the parents and the kids. I fear that the parents will be an easy sell and the kids may be a hard sell. The youngest generation (3 year olds) probably would take a meal gladly, see the nicely packaged bag, with the toy and eat the meal without hesitation. I am worried about the 7-11 year olds who know it’s not the same meal they grew up with.
I will be interested to see how their plan turns out. I love that BK has no plan for fighting adult obesity or diabetes. Have they given up on us or would they rather us just eat their heart clogging food. Is it BK's evil scheme to let kids eat healthy but then say whatever when they hit adolescence and adulthood and want that age demographic to switch back over to 50 gram of fat burgers and 800 calorie fries so they can turn a profit. I didn't see any care for adults on their site or announcements. That's interesting.
They have made a lot of public statements about their advertising initiative. It’s all over the news, in health and parent magazines, on their site and in advertising news. I just hope they don’t use this guy to entice the kids . . .
He scares me a little. I can only remember Ronald. Does BK have a kid mascot? Does that mean because I can only remember him I may have been brainwashed by the Golden Arches.
Unrelated: I don’t like Wal-Mart’s new slogan Save Money. Live Better. I am not a copy writer and I could have done that in my sleep. I am disappointed that this was the catchiest thing they could up with. Stick with the smiley.
It’s time for a new PET! I want to domesticate a new animal. This is a challenge for you to help me think of a new animal we could domesticate, if one even exists. I don’t want to inhibit the animal from the natural environment or handicap their natural instincts in any way. So, what animals’ do we have left that would be good pets?
I am sick of cats and dogs being the only domesticated pets. When I think of a good pet, I think of, an animal that loves you unconditionally. Cats and dogs already do that when you see small dogs in coats and cats being walked on leashes. See this cat probably forgot how much he hated his owner for doing this to him 5 minutes later. Good pets are the perfect combination of smart and dumb!
When you come into your house, it could be 20 minutes since you last saw your pet or 12 hours. Either way, the reaction of your pet is to immediately greet you and wants your attention. A pet that will come lay near you or on you, they can sense if you are having a bad day or if you are sad. A pet that loves nothing more than when you scratch their ears, feed them and let them live with you. And they are satisfied as long as their three needs are met.
I am sick of people saying that their bunnies, iguanas, fish, gerbils, frogs, mice/rats, hamsters, snakes, horses, ponies, tarantulas and birds are good pets. I see no redeemable value in them. Those ‘pets’ are more for show or for the cool factor. I think a good pet is fluffy, warm, non-threatening and loves their owners no matter what. I want an animal that actually cares that we pick up their poop and they depend on us for their meal. Also, the size issue is important to assess. The animal must be small enough to pick up or to live comfortably in a normal-sized apartment or house.
However, I feel limited that there are not many other options other than cats or dogs. I don’t want any livestock animals or exotic animals. This new pet shouldn’t have to be kept in a cage. There is no way I would keep a lion or a bear. Even, if you got the animals as cubs, I wouldn’t want them to grow so big that if I walked in and I forgot to feed them they would eat me upon entering the apartment.
My friends fueled this discussion over drinks and the couple of suggestions they had were weak. The best idea that my friends have had so far are sea otters or beavers. They can live without water, are soft, cute, small and can’t eat you. We could easily feed them the appropriate diet and let them play in water. We could probably have a couple of them, so they would have friends. I think penguins might work but I don’t think in Florida. The challenge would be to train them. Yet, that is the point of this mission.
We did do a lot of thinking if we could do cross breeds and dwarf animals. For example, mini-horses. We were thinking how cute would a baby panda be, but, it could never grow because they are fierce animals. We were thinking along the same lines for a baby kangaroo, giraffe and many others in the bear and large cat family. But, that is cheating.
Suggestions so far that I have vetoed: ferrets, sloth’s, anything in the monkey family (from spider monkeys to orangutans), raccoons, fox’s, chipmunks, squirrels, dolphins (where would he live, in the bathtub?), ligers, porcupines, tiger, lion, jaguar, lynx, panther, dinosaur, giraffe, leopard, elephant, zebra (like a horse), goats, alligators, lambs (they turn into sheep and not so cute), pigs (possibly but not fuzzy enough), anything in the bear family (black, brown, panda, koala, polar is a NO!), deer, antelope, raptors, gazelles, dingo, wombat . . .
I think I am forgetting more but see if you can inspire an original thought to solve this issue that has been consuming my mind! I will forever think you are a genius!
I had to post this video called the Landlord. Perhaps, you've seen it? It is quite possibly one of my favorite youtube clips and it has become a joke around my office. I never got to show it in our Culture of Communications class. I would say I love this short video as much as I love Borat. (That’s a lot of love!)
People at work tend to think that I am a fan of alcohol (but really, I feel like a need a drink at the end of some miserable days, and my habit could be worse it could be heroine) and that I am bit money-hungry. O and for anyone who doesn't know about heroine chic eyes please let me know and I will explain. I don't want to get off topic but any girl must know about the glamour of heroine chic. Anyways. . .
Both of these assumptions have truth, so the quote from this clip that I like to joke with everyone or really they like to joke with me is about the phrase screamed by Pearl. Pearl yells, “I WANT MY MONEY!” I think everyone in the office thinks this is how I was as a child. And now, as sales manager, they see me running around yelling about goals and quotas. I’m afraid if I ask my mom she will agree I was this defiant child.
I bet if I had a girl, she would be like Pearl. Stubborn, loud, cute and definitely learning how to hit the bottle early. I feel like I can connect with her in this video and I understand the frustration and the angst she feels. She's screaming because she wants to be heard not because she's angry or crazy. (much like me)
I hope you enjoy a little mindless humor.
More about my office and staff soon! But first, a little treat from Will Ferrell. . .
Maybe I will name my first child Pearl. . .
I don't think the video is going to show up. I think it's been copyrighted :( Click this link: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/74
I am a crazy curly haired girl who is loud and very talkative! I also have a short attention span and more bad luck then anyone I know ! I am convinced between me and my friends that we would be quality reality television! Hit me up on Facebook or Myspace!
